23 jul Raise you kid in the way you like best
Almost all Dutch people have an internet connection, and all Dutch people also have an opinion. I found out when I published an article about Max Verstappen on the column page of B4men.nl. Okay, the article might have been a little bit oversimplified and muddled, but I stood behind every word. Even when I published an article about breastfeeding in public, people were falling over each other with an opinion. I can tell you that I have always stood behind my positions. I am still not a fan of Max and you can also just breastfeed your baby in a restaurant or playground.
What amazed me is that people very often present an opinion as a fact. Often these opinions are negative and arise from the fears the person has with this opinion. In my opinion, for example, you have to raise your kid in the way that you like best. However, there are mothers and a few fathers who feel that their way of parenting is the only one. If you think differently, eighty other mothers come to put you at the stake.
Sleeping with your baby
An example of this is sleeping with your baby. Proponents of sleeping with your baby are fairly extremist when it comes to the “well-being” of your child. If you talk to someone who has mastered the whole of sleeping with your baby and then indicates that your child is just sleeping in their own room from birth, there is usually a whole thunder sermon with references to books and websites. If this parent is in your circle of friends, you can assume that this is not the case from that moment on. You are the devil!
Baby sleepers are of the opinion that you sleep in the same bed with your child, sleep in a bed in your room or by means of a co-sleeper. Personally, I believe that my own night’s sleep is taken over by my child’s lack of sleep. Coincidentally, due to lack of space, Morris’s bedstead was left in our room, but if we had room, he would certainly have got his own room. In this way he learns to be independent and that his parents are not standing next to his bed with every click. Dad and mom happy, Morris happy (because he sleeps like an ox) and all three have slept.
Help my baby sleeps on his stomach!
Even more opinions that are fired as facts are about belly sleep. Morris is sleeping on his belly from week eight. In a Facebook group, the subject was discussed and it soon became clear that many mums were trying to make it clear to me that I was mistreating my son. No matter how I argued that you should listen to your child and determine by trial and error what is best for your child, they were not convinced. Except from their own right! In the end I gave up and thanked the ladies for their advice. Incidentally, they were the same ladies who earlier and later indicated to be kept awake all night by their sprout! And while they are being kept up by their baby, I slept for another hour and I will wake Morris the next morning instead of him waking me.
Advice for when your child sleeps on his stomach I can not give. We are just winging it here too. Call it the Jan Boerenfluitjes upbringing method. Listening to your baby, trial and error, and learning from your mistakes are my advice in this case. Morris sleeps nicely on his stomach and when we put him on his back he turns back himself. He has an aerosleep mattress (detested by the mamamafia) that allows him to breathe if he accidentally sleeps with his head down. Fortunately, he is strong enough to lift his head and turn himself.
Do not force me on your way of upbringing
Again, everyone must know for themselves how he or she is raising the children, but do not force me on your way of upbringing. If something works for me, it does not have to work for you. There are 7 billion people in this world and they have all grown up. One while sleeping with their parents, another all alone. There are millions of children who sleep on their stomachs and a number of Dutch children with sleepless parents. I welcome your advice, but do not sell it as a fact. I can still distinguish that, but the insecure new born mama can not do this! Also keep this in mind.